A friend raised a question on Facebook recently if he should buy his son a violin, because he’s interested in violin as of the moment. He wasn’t so keen on getting one, because his son might lose interest in just a couple of days, or weeks.
Should you say NO? My lengthy answer is below
Disclaimer: We’re not going to talk about spoiling our children. We”re going to talk about positive and supportive parenting.
Using positive parenting phrases can set more precise boundaries than the word no itself. But today we’re not going to talk about disciplining our children. That’s a whole different topic we’ll discuss next time. What I meant with never saying no, is always saying yes to his current “subject of interest.“
Geof had a plethora of hobbies *cough obsessions cough* that began as long as I can remember. Sometimes he’ll get bored and shift his attention to another subject, but sometimes he’ll also get back his previous interest. I’ll list them down below. Not in chronological order, because again, he comes and he goes. A recurring phase.
- Universal Studios Opening Theme
- The London Bridge
- The Big Ben Clock Tower
- Object Shows
- Super Mario Game
- Structure Puzzles
“Mom, can you buy me a clock?”
“Mom, can we watch Titanic?” (100+ times)
“Mom, can you buy me a Big Ben Puzzle and let’s build it together?”
Those are just some, of his many requests to support his passion-of-the-day. You heard it right. Passion. I’m probably not alone in this, and your kids probably have a current interest-obsession. Children are discovering something new each day, and when something catches their attention, they want to learn more about it!
I remember when I was a kid, my mom usually said no to my requests. But I’m thankful that my aunt didn’t. From crocheting to writing books, to joining weird kiddie science clubs, to buying RL Stine books every week! She was supportive of my interests, and as a child, I felt loved and important. I felt that my aunt believed that I could be whatever I want to be. So I did.
Now that I’m a mother, I want my child to feel he can do anything (good of course), as long as he puts his heart in it. If he fails, it’s okay. He’ll learn a lot of lessons from his failures, and build a lot of confidence and knowledge with his success.
I guess what I’m trying to say is. Whatever your child’s interest is right now, even if he changes his mind 24 hours later. What matters is they saw you support it. Whatever it may be. As long as you can afford it, if you can’t explain to them why, or maybe both of you can work together to save up for something.
Knowing that their parents (or guardians), supports their passion is HUGE and will have a significant impact on their adulthood. We were all kids once, and we know how it feels to be ignored when we’re interested in something. Or when your parent is not supportive of our goals. Heartbreaking isn’t it?